Coincidences and Circles

Coincidences…

What kind of connection, karma, or coincidence is going on when an obscure topic manages to come up multiple times in a short (admittedly subjective) period of time?

For example - last year, for about two weeks, my wife and I had contact with the word or image “midget” over, and over, and over again. We had midget encounters everywhere; on television, walking on the sidewalk, passing by on the back of motorcycles, and repeatedly in unsolicited conversations with others. Both of us moved on from this short phase (sorry), but both of us took note of the unusual repeat of “midget”. After awhile there was nothing, no midgets unexpectedly popping up anywhere.

As Midget is the word I grew up with and it may offend - please note that the “Little People of America (http://www.lpaonline.org/) I shit you not, has an excellent FAQ for anyone interested in such things. Within the FAQ you will find all sorts of useful information such as the following Q&A:

Q: What is a midget?

A: In some circles, a midget is the term used for a proportionate dwarf. However, the term has fallen into disfavor and is considered offensive by most people of short stature. The term dates back to 1865, the height of the "freak show" era, and was generally applied only to short-statured persons who were displayed for public amusement, which is why it is considered so unacceptable today.

Such terms as dwarf, little person, LP, and person of short stature are all acceptable, but most people would rather be referred to by their name than by a label.

.

I digress. Getting back to the original thought – “Coincidences”

My most recent example of this type of curious coincidental phenomenon has to do with the band Queen. This band has managed to come up in media or casual conversation at least 5 times in the past week. I have never been a fanatic, nor have I purchased an album, but will admit some sort of enjoyment the occasional song. Even if you dislike them, you cannot ignore songs like “Fat Bottom Girls”, or the disturbing “Bohemian Rhapsody”?

This morning Queen struck again while on my routine commute into work. As I tuned the radio onto a station rarely listened to. My mind is forced into instant recall and accesses the catalog of tunes and lyrics in my head. I immediately identifyed the sounds emerging from the mid quality speakers of my gas pit of a Ford truck. My timing was flawless, as Freddie Mercury’s unique vocals were just getting coming to life….

Buddy you’re a boy make a big noise

Playin’ in the street gonna be a big man some day

You got mud on yo’ face

You big disgrace

Kickin’ your can all over the place

We will we will rock you
We will we will rock you

...

Buddy you’re a young man hard man

Shoutin’ in the street gonna take on the world some day

You got blood on yo’ face

You big disgrace

Wavin’ your banner all over the place

We will we will rock you

We will we will rock you

...

Buddy you’re an old man poor man

Pleadin’ with your eyes gonna make you some peace some day

You got mud on your face

You big disgrace

Somebody better put you back in your place

We will we will rock you

We will we will rock you

This song notable not only for its current place on classic rock stations here in the mid west, but also for its long standing, if slightly inaccurate use at sporting events. However, neither of those two things is what crossed my mind.

And Circles…

What did come to mind was an event at my childhood home that happened in the late 70s. My parents were strict in a multitude of ways. We were never allowed to miss a Sunday Church service, a day of school, or Catechism Classes. God forbid we get caught doing something like stealing, or fighting as there was quick and painful retribution. If we were late for dinner we would have our chair turned around, and after listening to the rest of the family eat we were sent to bed. However, the times when they tried to interfere or oppress our choice in music, television, books, or any entertainment sources were extremely rare. I am not sure if this is because they were incapable of understanding what we were listening to / watching / reading, or that they didn’t want or care to interfere.

I have only one memory where my parents threw down the gauntlet and wouldn’t allow certain music to be played in their own house by their own children. Never having much money, buying records didn’t happen often yet somehow my older brothers managed to get a hold of shinny new LPs, more often then the circumstances would seem to permit. The specific records that spur this oppressive memory were both acquired by my older brother Dewain. My third oldest sibling had simply become enchanted with Pink Floyd and the aforementioned band Queen.

Unexpectedly, on a dark yet quiet autumn evening, all hell broke loose. My parents (see also Father) influenced by the 11pm news reports, or possibly colorful conversations at work, had found out that these same musicians were corrupting his children into vile and evil acts. He demanded that the records be turned over immediately. My brother instantly rebelled and a huge fight ensued. Taken aback by the ferocity of my older sibling, my father relented, just a little, as they agreed to listen to the record player together. Calming down, my brother handed over the albums and my father prepared to play them as the rest of us were sent to bed. We all hid somewhere within earshot dying to know the outcome before dawn.

Somewhat anticlimactic one of the first songs played was “Another Brick In The Wall (Part II)” – featuring the opening line of:

We don't need no education

Battle over, no contest.

I vaguely remember the Queen album being played that night. The results were predictable; neither album was heard or seen again. My brother immediately stopped protesting and I cannot recall a point from that moment forward where my brother was passionate about anything. He was always sort of quiet and maybe because he was older then I, more affected by my fathers will then I was. What strikes me like a punch to the gut now is that I have always thought of my brother as weak willed. He seemed to be easily influenced by friends into doing the wrong things; smoking, drugs, and alcohol. Still a teen - he married too young; to someone even younger, a result of and unplanned pregnancy. Yet on this one occasion the music of Pink Floyd and Queen was important enough to stand strong and loud against my Father, even if only for a little while.

I am not sure if I am suggesting that my father killed my brothers will that night. Perhaps the opposite affect, as my father never repeated this battle over music again with any of us. Did he fear charging into battle with a beloved child over something that seems so petty in hind sight? Almost thirty years later I look back wonder if something more significant did happen that night that affected all of us. Something that would explain why this all came back to me today. As far as I know my older brother, now a full blown, full blood alcoholic, hasn’t stood up for himself since that night. My head is still trying to repress the blunt but ironic thoughts of my father’s choices that night. Did his choice to make a stand on these two albums have some kind of devastating impact on both of them? If so, then Queen and Pink Floyd did corrupt my brother. Just not in the way my father could have imagined.

Recently I have had to struggle to understand my children’s entertainment choices. The boys are currently eight and just a week shy of five years old. Many of my entertainment passions such as The Lord of the Rings, or City of Heroes are a little mature for my easily excited children, so I try to dive into some of the more appropriate selections. Music is not yet an issue, television is where things fall apart. I rather do enjoy the stories and lessons in Avatar: the Last Air Bender (Highly recommended) that they love so much, while the boys tolerate the mildly entertaining (to them) adventures of the Mythbusters on the Discovery channel for me. I however continue to get completely lost and discouraged by Digimon, Pokemon, and the entire library of cartoons, card games and crap that ends in mon or similar ilk. I am not claiming these things are corrupting my children but they are damn annoying to me.

I know that the night that outlawed Queen is now influencing my own life. I know that I am just scratching the surface of being an authoritarian over my own children’s choice of entertainment media. I know I must watch both them and myself carefully so as not to fall into some struggle that doesn’t make any sense. That I need to continue to be open and willing to try.

I think that maybe the curious coincidental phenomenon of Queen this week means something a bit more significant and shouldn’t just be dismissed. Maybe it is happening because I am in need of remembering the past right now so I do something right in the future.

I also know that my father still loves my brother, and I know he regrets the past.

Now, if I could only figure out what the midgets were telling us?

Peace
Paul